Why? It is one of those questions that is essential to our everyday lives, and impossible to avoid as a whole. Seriously. Try going a week without asking it. It is damn near impossible, if even possible at all.
We are taught to ask the question “why?” from a young age, and thankfully so. It is a question which demands explanation, thus, satisfying one of our most core desires: to have answers. Answers give clarity and meaning. Without answers, we would drown in a sea of existential questions. Mankind would be in a state of collective cluelessness and despair.
I myself ask the question why? followed by a brief inquiry, constantly. I realize that it is a question which helps me get to the core of who I am. Often, I like what I learn, but not always.
• Why do I go for walks so much?
It has been my way of thinking over problems and coping with stress since I was a kid.
• Why do I enjoy my solitude so much?
I believe this is for many reasons. With my brother killing himself last year, and the realization that both my parents have narcissistic personality disorder, taking a step back was needed. All the chaos and drama from my upbringing has really led me to enjoy peace, quiet, and good vibes. Plus, I meditate, which makes regular solitude a necessity, at least temporarily. Additionally, I am just getting to know who I am, which mandates listening to my soul, and keeping outer distractions to a minimum. This is all paradoxical, as I enjoy the company of other (high-spirited) people. Solitude really is the shit though.
• Why have I not found the right woman?
Maybe I already have. I have spent years pursuing the wrong women. Perhaps the right one has been under my nose this whole time. Is there even such a thing as the right woman? Particularly for an eccentric such as myself? Nowadays, I simply seek to find my female vibrational equivalents. There are plenty of them around, I just need to welcome them into my life, from a spiritual standpoint.
• Why did I used to care so much about what people thought of me?
I was raised by two narcissistic parents who could not have cared less about me as an individual. Especially my father, who strived for me to be his “clone”. An awful thing indeed. Trust me, the world does NOT need two of him. One is already poisonous and destructive enough. He only accepted me when I “existed” as he saw fit. This caused me to subconsciously adopt the belief that being myself was unacceptable, and my relationships, including the one with myself, suffered greatly as a result. Thankfully, I no longer follow that self-destructive pattern.
• Why do I want to enter self-help?
I think that the combination of my disposition, interests and experiences have uniquely qualified me for this somewhat abstract field we call self-help. More so than any college courses I ever took.
• Why do I talk to myself so much?
Self-talk is how I grew and changed so much after I had eight pistols pointed at me. Self-talk is how I thrived after my brother’s suicide, and never succumbed to insanity, even temporarily. Self-talk is how I stay positive, even when I am surrounded by negative motherfuckers. In a nutshell, the best talks I have ever received have been from myself. If that comes at the simple cost of looking crazy, then so be it.
• Why do I believe that life is objectively meaningless?
In clinging to the notion that life has some inherit, “predetermined” meaning for you, you can lose yourself (in a bad way) trying to find it. This can lead to much anxiety, and even depression. In realizing that life is objectively meaningless, I grasp the fact that it is up to me to give it meaning. I stopped chasing something that was never there! This, I believe, is one of the keys to existential freedom.
• Why the fuck do I blog?
I believe it is a beautiful and healthy form of self-expression, particularly when I am angry. As the saying goes, “the pen is mightier than the sword.” Additionally, since a lot of my other writing projects, especially “8 Pistols”, have been running behind, this is a good way to hint at what is to come. A literary foreplay, if you will.
Even with eight simple why? Questions, I have been able to reevaluate myself. Something I probably do too damn much. Regardless, one good takeaway is this: never hesitate to ask why, as it always opens the door to learning, discovery, and creation.